He Was Only Acting — Just a Little
The headline was amusing, coming out of Arizona over the weekend:
Movie Elf Accused Of Sexual Abuse Of Child
Ok, only the first half. Nothing much funny about what he did.
Here’s the story:
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — A California actor who has had several minor film and television roles has been arrested in Scottsdale on suspicion of sexually abusing a 15-year-old girl.
Scottsdale Police said 36-year-old Jonathan Simanton was staying with family Tuesday when he allegedly fondled his nephew’s teenage babysitter.
According to investigators, Simanton admitted to touching the victim inappropriately. They also said there were indications he was under the influence at the time of the incident.
He was booked on $4,500 bail in a Maricopa County, Ariz., jail.
Simanton is a little person who played an elf in “Surviving Christmas” and an Oompa Loompa in “Epic Movie.” The 3 foot 6 inch Simanton also appeared in “Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie,” and on TV in “Reno 911″ and “The King of Queens.”
Looks like the end of a very short film career for this 3-foot-6-inch actor. There’s the ewww factor at work here, too, the likes of which Crime Rant hasn’t seen since Screech promoted his sex tape.
Sorry to remind you.
March 29th, 2007 at 5:58 am
So what drugs or mental disorder do you all think he will claim is at fault for his short comings…
March 29th, 2007 at 7:10 am
Looks like this elf goes on Santa’s naughty list, or maybe Santa needs to make up a nasty list instead.
On the serious side, I hope this 15 year old will follow through to the end and get this guy convicted. He is sure to offend again, and makes you wonder if he has any previous victims out there.
March 29th, 2007 at 7:41 am
You had to mention Screech.
March 29th, 2007 at 8:08 am
Why doesn’t someone just drop kick him?
March 29th, 2007 at 8:19 am
Screech, EEWWWW. Don’t forget Pee Pee Herman. Loved the shortcoming comment, Michelle. Wanna bet he runs for rehab.
March 29th, 2007 at 8:33 am
Send him to Tent City…..I’m sure Sheriff Joe would love to make some room for him
.
March 29th, 2007 at 8:48 am
Tent city-I love that concept. It is the best thing to hit the justice system since sliced bread.
March 29th, 2007 at 9:41 am
I know what he did isn’t funny, but come on, he played an Oompa Loompa, that alone has to make ya snicker.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:02 am
When did the words “little person” replace the word midget? And why?
March 29th, 2007 at 10:07 am
When we all became so politically correct!!
March 29th, 2007 at 10:23 am
Screech. Shortcomings. Pee Wee.
Oh my gawd, I think I need a shower now!
;D
March 29th, 2007 at 10:34 am
Can’t comment. Too many bad thoughts. Must resist the temptation.
I surely don’t want to point out that his gropes must have been below the belt because he wouldn’t be able to reach above it.
Poor girl. I really feel sorry for her.
I may need therapy now and it didn’t even happen to me.
March 29th, 2007 at 11:18 am
Poor girl must have been in shock, otherwise she should have slapped him into next year.
March 29th, 2007 at 11:36 am
It didnt say she didnt. I would hope she did herself a little midget tossing.
March 29th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
Oompa Loompa doompadee doo
I’ve got another puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa doompadah dee
If you are wise you’ll listen to me
I’m sorry, had to share my misery. It’s been in my head since I read this frickin story.
March 29th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
Same here, Kim…….as well as the “Saved By the Bell” theme.
March 29th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
I would hope she did herself a little midget tossing.
L O L !!!!
March 29th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
I like the tent city idea as well. More states should adopt that idea.
March 29th, 2007 at 4:20 pm
Unfortunately, the freak groped her *above* the belt. I read another article that said he pulled her shirt up and touched her breast before she ran out of the house to call her mother.
She must have been a short 15 year old.
March 29th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
If I showed up to babysit for someone and they had a drunk uncle dwarf inside their house, I’d leave immediately. Whose idea was it to leave him there with the babysitter?
March 29th, 2007 at 4:45 pm
I’m wondering the same thing, Golly. He said he only had three cocktails throughout the day. Three cocktails in a midget…well, never mind. Lol
March 29th, 2007 at 5:05 pm
Golly- That is funny! I got the craziest mental image …
March 29th, 2007 at 5:50 pm
Movie Idea:
Debbie Does Oz-
Starring:
A Very Drunk Britney Spears as Debbie
Dustin Diamond as the Scarecrow
Pee Wee Herman as the Lion
Michael Jackson as the Tin Woodsman
Rosie O’Donnell as the Wicked Witch of the West
Rip Torn’s Mugshot as the Wizard
and
Jonathan Simanton, Verne Troyer, and Emmanuel Lewis as the Munchkins
March 29th, 2007 at 6:03 pm
Miss James, you forgot about Gary Coleman. After Arnold tries to grope someone, Willis could get onto him, and the movie could be filled with “wahtchu talkin bout willis?” Fun for all.
March 29th, 2007 at 6:16 pm
Whatchu talkin’ ’bout Kim?!?
I can’t believe I left out Gary! He really needs the work, too. Isn’t he a clerk at a 7-11 now, or something.
March 29th, 2007 at 6:24 pm
He was a clerk there, but got in a spat with someone about a slurpee, and now he’s living on unemployment in the streets. Poor Gary.
March 29th, 2007 at 7:35 pm
OMG, this is bringing me back to a sick day where I watched Springer and there was a dude called angry midget.
March 29th, 2007 at 7:37 pm
Oh, no, please don’t tell me he did a movie with “Oz” in the title! And here I was feeling happy that he was way too young to have been a midget in one of my favorite movies.
March 29th, 2007 at 8:41 pm
Under the influence? …and under the height requirement to ride on most of the rides at the amusement park.
March 30th, 2007 at 4:47 pm
LOL Nona!
March 30th, 2007 at 5:39 pm
Yikes Nona! Can you imagine the damage that must have caused as a child for him at six flags…I am seeing a defense forming here.
March 30th, 2007 at 7:16 pm
Well I agree w/most of you on the tent city thing for this creep. I like that idea & I also wish more states would do this also.
As for the word midget it offends them. They pefer to be called little people now
March 30th, 2007 at 8:28 pm
Y’sll should study tent city again. Yes, A lot of people deserve it, but its kind of sadistic.
March 31st, 2007 at 7:38 am
Michelle, I think thats what sherrif joe had in mind when he started tent city. He wants those criminals to really suffer.
March 31st, 2007 at 8:28 pm
Yeah, but a lot of the prisoners are ending up dead.
April 1st, 2007 at 2:36 pm
That is true, Melissa because in the tent city you don’t have the protection of cells and doors. I wonder what kind of offenders are in this tent city. I cannot imagine that they are maximum security.
April 2nd, 2007 at 9:06 am
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Arpaio
Its the guards, not the inmates. Check down to the section of controversy.
Green Bologna? I have NO problem with them of his choice in and have that be the only meal. But poison food?
April 2nd, 2007 at 11:34 am
Darby O’Gill and the Little People!!
February 23rd, 2008 at 7:31 pm
this scumbag disgusts me to no end. I mean i cant believe this kind of crap happens these days! What makes it worse is i know the gal he did this shit to, i can hardly stand to think about it! its just totally indescribable how ridiculous this is! i hope he dies! sick bastard…
May 8th, 2009 at 10:26 am
You idiots disgust me to no end-throwing around your pathetic slurs. Do you have any idea what this person has gone through in life? How the hell would you turn out if you had people making malicious comments about you daily because of something you had absolutely no control over? You have no idea what really happened and by the way , this man is a serious alcoholic so shove your stupid rehab comments. That 15 year old came into the bedroom and sat down next to him while he was obviously drunk. Oh yeah, by the way, that happened directly after she discovered he was a psuedo celebrity when she was shown his myspace page by his nephew. Hmmm…interesting timing, HUH????