A Double-Edged (Hope and Pain) Sword
![new ring 2[1].jpg](http://www.crimerant.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/new%20ring%202[1].jpg "new ring 2[1].jpg")
Imagine that any time a young female goes missing, like the recent case in Vermont, and the story is splashed across every newspaper and television, your heart skips a beat and the coverage is a harbinger of an endless cascade of pain. You’re swallowed up by it. You had been doing well. Your daughter had been abducted almost a decade ago and you’ve managed to carve out somewhat of an existence: living day to day, managing your emotion best you could, coming to terms with—possibly—the death of your child.
And then, another story Somewhere, in America, brings it all back with a vengeance, as if those feelings of despair had never gone away.
Every time Doug and Mary Lyall see a case of a missing college student—even that of a missing person—they face not knowing what happened to their 19-year-old daughter, Suzanne “Suzy” Lyall, and the cycle begins all![suzy_11[1].jpg](http://www.crimerant.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/suzy_11[1].jpg "suzy_11[1].jpg")
over again.
There’s been a few updates in Suzanne’s case since my last entry (see all CR stories about Suzy by going to the post category, What Happened to Suzanne Lyall). For one, the recent tragedy in Burlington, Vermont, of Michelle Gardner-Quinn’s body found on a construction site, brought the Lyall family another thumping round of raw emotion. Feelings that were perhaps suppressed and buried long ago (it’s been eight and half years since Suzanne failed to show up at her dorm on the night of March 2, 1998, after getting off a city bus) rise to the surface and become much more pronounced than they once were.
“Something like Vermont brings back a lot of stuff,” says Doug Lyall. “Such similar circumstances ….”
Part of it, Doug admits, is guilt.
“What could we have done? Should we have done something differently? A lot of anger, a lot of negative emotions.”
In their minds, they go through that day Suzanne disappeared. Over and over, they question themselves. What if … what if … we … had invited Suzanne over for dinner. It becomes easy to blame yourself. Driven her home.
None of this is any good for the human spirit. It’s all poison to the soul, in fact. Yet part of having a daughter out there still missing. That monster who took Suzanne is still destroying lives. Still making the Lyalls feel like they’ve done something wrong, or could be doing more.
“It never, ever ends,” both Doug and Mary Lyall agree.
Some people think they have problems with bills, fighting with family members, bitter divorces, a break up with a girlfriend. But when you have child missing and the never ending well of emotional turmoil follows you around, those issues seem ordinary. Don’t ask the Lyalls to feel sorry for people in those situations. The Lyalls wake up and still don’t know. They go to bed at night and there is Suzanne’s photograph bedside. At a party maybe, they’ll be laughing one minute with friends, and then head over to the buffet table filling their plates and it comes on, a memory of Suzanne.
Then the result: no closure. Where is she? Damnit. Why hasn’t anyone found her?
The Burlington P.D. called the Lyalls and asked if they’d be available for Michelle’s family. They absolutely would, they promised.
Since Michelle went missing, the Lyalls have fielded media requests to comment on “what it’s like.” Imagine that. The Lyalls are the go-to family for the missing and exploited. What a brand to have to live with.
They take every media opportunity, says Doug, because you never know what information that one appearance on television might generate. Like, for example, last week, when a woman who had been following the Lyall case for the past eight years saw them on TV and sent in a tip of an unidentified deceased person found near the Catskills.
It seemed promising. Could it be Suzanne?
A skull had been found. Far away from where Suzanne had disappeared in Albany, but who knew. Maybe her abductor(s) had murdered her locally and dumped her body in the mountains.
“Every letter, e-mail and phone call has to be taken seriously,” says Doug.
DNA and dental records turned out negative on the skull. It wasn’t Suzanne. Which, Doug adds, is both disheartening and hopeful, part of a boundless roller coaster ride they’ve been on for eight and a half years.
“Until we know for sure that Suzanne’s deceased, we’ll always hold out hope that she’s alive and out there somewhere. There’s no getting away from that for us. Even if on the surface people in our situation might say we’ve given up and there’s no way she’s alive, there’s still that little cell way back in the consciousness that says she could be. You see a story on TV where a woman has been held captive in some underground bunker for ten years and you think, ‘Is Suzanne being held against her will somewhere?’”
It’s seems unlikely. But it’s a possibility, as long as Suzanne is still missing.
There’s been no shortage of psychics, either, Doug says with a genial laugh. The last one, just recently, told the Lyalls she knew exactly where Suzanne was buried.
“We get those quite often.”
No matter how foolish they seem, each psychic tip gets checked out.
Still, not one psychic has produced anything positive.
“We can’t turn down any information because you never know where it might lead.”
The Lyalls’ one crowning moment in quite some time came a few weeks back when Doug and Mary watched a missing persons monument they had been championing for about five or six years dedicated at the Empire State Plaza in downtown Albany. The media was there. The Lyalls were interviewed. The monument is among several others dedicated to fallen firemen and cops killed in the line of duty.
“It’s something,” says Doug. He sounded proud of the accomplishment. And he should be. It is something.
Another new development comes in the form of a ring Suzanne possibly had in her possession on the day she disappeared. Mary Lyall had explained to police when Suzanne went missing that she was likely wearing a gold and diamond ring they had given to her as a gift.
“Suzanne was born in April,” Mary says, forcing a comforting chuckle, “so she loved diamonds.”
The Lyalls had spent about $100 on the ring. Suzanne adored it. She wore it all the time. There’s no reason why she wouldn’t have been wearing it on the night she disappeared.
Just a month ago, Mary was looking for something in a drawer at home.
“I was looking in this desk for a card … and there it was.”
No, not the ring. But a clipping from a Montgomery Ward catalogue Mary had torn out long ago. Staring back at Mary as she searched for the card was a photograph of the exact ring she had tried so hard to describe to police back in the day.
She scanned the image, enhanced it, and sent it off to the police.
The photograph above is that ring. We need anyone with information about this ring—Have you seen it? Do you know someone who owns it? Have you found it? Seen it at a pawn shop? Etc.—or any information whatsoever regarding Suzanne Lyall’s disappearance to contact Mary and Doug Lyall at Jdlmary@aol.com or the New York State Police at (518) 783-3211 or 1-(800) 920-4150 or (518) 442-3131.
I reiterate: This case can be solved.
Somebody knows something. Cowboy up and get that information to the Lyalls so they can have a bit of peace in their lives.
October 19th, 2006 at 7:47 am
I can’t begin to imagine what this family’s pain must be like. Just the worry when my daughter is late home, and the relief when she finally comes in the door is exhausting in its overwhelmingness. To live with the emptyness every day, I salute them for their strength. I hope and pray that sites like this and the television shows they do will finally give them some closure. They will definitely be in my thoughts.
Millie
October 19th, 2006 at 11:20 am
Absolutely, Millie. My 18 year old son still lives at home while attending college. I always tell him to call if he doesn’t come home by midnight. At 12:10, my stomach starts to tighten up. The pain of a missing child. I just don’t think I could go through it. I hope the ring photo helps somehow.
October 19th, 2006 at 2:25 pm
Matt,
What VALUABLE and OVERLOOKED insight into how current abductions can affect families of the, ‘cold ones’.
You wrote, Matt:
“Since Michelle went missing, the Lyalls have fielded media requests to comment on “what it’s like.” Imagine that. The Lyalls are the go-to family for the missing and exploited. What a brand to have to live with.
So not only did they lose a child once….oh no…they have to lose her again, and again, and again. But through the selfless act of caring and empathy, they are a rock and an anchor, and a ballast for other people to cling to as they slide to the lower level of hell when a child is missing.
Conversely, helping is HEALING.
Matt, thank you for that often overlooked perspective.
October 19th, 2006 at 6:19 pm
Don’t forget that Mark Klauss and John Walsh who also get dragged into all this stuff every time a missing child hits nationwide attention etc.
October 20th, 2006 at 12:27 am
When one of my dogs was missing (old, cranky, half-blind), I was wild with grief and worry. I couldn’t eat or sleep. I spent hours driving and walking…..so, I cannot imagine this families grief with their CHILD. The clich’e of “not knowing is the worst” must be what they live daily. How do you wake up each day and manage to perform even mundane tasks? And this is their life…..God bless them. I do hope they can get information to bring some closure – not the end of their grief, just some closure.
October 20th, 2006 at 8:01 am
What you said, Lauren! I always swore I would interfere and stick my nose in after a 15 year old boy called Martin Allen went missing in London in 1979. He was last seen at a London tube station looking absolutely terrified with a man later described as ‘a screaming queen’ (not my words, I miss my gay neighbours and lost many gay friends in the holocaust of AIDS in the 80’s) and someone actually overheard the man say ‘Don’t try to run’. The woman said they looked so wrong together that ’she nearly said something but felt if they were father and son it would be wrong to interfere’ ( English disease!) If only she had! I swore after that I would always help a child who was lost or seemed distressed and if I got thumped for my pains, so be it. I go crazy if my kids are late. It must be utter agony for parents never to know where their child is. God bless the Lyalls – to hear nothing for ten years must be a living hell, like that Martin’s family have experienced. Fiz. xxx
October 21st, 2006 at 7:47 pm
Lauren says: How do you wake up each day and manage to perform even mundane tasks?
**************
It’s called DISASSOCIATION, one doesn’t “think” they just do. To think AND do, would be humanly impossible with a daily fill of grief.
…and Fiona; I understand completely about your feelings where MA was concerned…this happened to me once too.
I was looking for a friend at the local YWCA and turned down a long hallway and found myself at the pool full of kids swimming, splashing, laughing and screaming. As I stood there for a few minutes watching them play through a plexi-glass window I suddenly heard an ungodly scream from around the far end of another [what appeared to be] dark, empty hallway.
Thinking I had mis-heard, what with the kids playing in the pool, I almost disregarded it, but my heart wouldn’t let me and so I listened more intently and that’s when I heard another scream, but with crying and a softer “stop, stop, you’re hurting me” and it sounded like a child.
Now I could have said to myself, “Not my problem, someone is simply correcting a misbehaving child” and left right there and then, never looking back but that is NOT my style [I'm one of those people who are too brave for their own good, and who act first and then ask questions later] so I quickly walked toward the sound.
Imagine my shock when I came upon two older white teenagers…around 17-19 years old..holding down a little black boy,of about 8/9 years old. The child was crying and whimpering that they were hurting him, as they twisted his arms behind his back and had him kneeling on the wet cement floor with his face touching the tiles.
I instantly stopped and yelled “STOP THAT!”-they quickly released him and I marched over to the little boy and lifted him up off the floor and said to the teens [who towered over me] “Who are you and why are you hurting this child?!”
Then proceeded to stare them down, as they fidgeted and said they were summer YWCA swim counselors, and this child had been misbehaving and they were trying to punish him, but that he was screaming as if they were killing him to get away from being punished.
Now If I were smart, I would have accepted this excuse and walked away leaving the child to fend for himself, but again I’m not that gullable and easy to sway, so I took the child and asked him if he was ok, he refused to look at me or them and so I promptly took him by the hand and walked him to the front office–down several long hallways–the teens having suddenly disappeared.
As I approached the front desk I explained to the ladys present what I had witnessed and then asked “Didn’t any of you HEAR him screaming?!”, and was even more shocked to hear them respond with “Yeah we did, but it’s NOT our job to watch the summer kids.”
I angrily said “Maybe not, but when a child screams like THAT, as a decent human being you would think you would give a rats ass about what was happening enough to go see!!”
They retorted with “Well that’s not our job.” and again I responded with “Yeah ok, so it’s NOT your job, but legally if not morally-YOU have an obligation to protect these children if they are being harmed while IN your facility and he WAS being harmed! So tell it to his parents when I finish telling them what happened to their child while IN here.
And I pulled out my cell phone and in front of their lame asses called the police.
In the end the teens were found to actually be swim counselors, and the child to have a history of being disorderly and rude, with no actual harm done to him for the wear and tear.
Did I over-react, maybe.
But I can honestly say that I couldn’t have lived with myself, had I heard his screams, and not responded then found out he was another Martin Allen..so I agree with you, if I get thumped upside the head for my efforts, SO BE IT–better safe then sorry I always say.
Cricket
October 28th, 2006 at 8:23 am
Judy Says:
October 27th, 2006 at 5:53 am
You speak of Jeffrey Williams as thought to be the one who abducted Karen Wilson. I remember years ago when they first arrested him for stealing a rocking chair, because they felt he was responsible for Rose Tulaeo and Carolyn Lonczak’s disappearance but they could not prove it at the time. If my memory serves me correctly, they found Carolyn up on the banks of the Tomhannock Reservoir – Do you know if they ever did a search there for Karen ?
I have always been interested in Karen Wilson and now Suzanne. I told her parents I would do everything I could to help them find their daughter.
Please let me know what you know about them checking out the reservoir area for Karen’s remains.
Also, I too am actively searching for Suzanne. Now that I am retired I can devote a lot of time to this and I do. I pursue every unidentified person lead in surrounding states, by sending e-mails to the State police asking them to compare NIC numbers.
We all have to do what we can to help these families….just think if it were your child, your daughter, your neice.
Thanks.
Judy
July 26th, 2007 at 8:31 am
hi iam MARTIN ALLENS ELDER BROTHER KEVIN IT’S BEEN 20YRS SINCE WE HEARD ANYTHING FROM THE BRITISH POLICE TODAY I HAVE OPENED A CAN OF WORMS BY CALLING THE METROPOLITAIN POLICE FORCE INEPT TOSSER’S.
QUESS WHAT THEY HAVE STARTED TALKING TO ME!IT’S ONLY TAKEN 20 YEARS STILL NO FURTHER THAN A WEEK INTO THE CASE!KA
September 28th, 2007 at 11:41 pm
I remember the Martin Allen case very well. I was 13 years of age at the time that he disappeared and I too travelled home on the tube from school. It is terrible to learn that the family were never able to find out what happened to this youngster.
Perhaps it is time to start re-publicising the case, maybe with a website and an appeal to the journalistic media to show some investigative interest in the crime?
November 12th, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Hi.
I was the last person who knew Martin Allen to see him at King’s Cross. I was one of his schoolfriends and used to sometimes to Skateboarding with him. I still sometimes think of him and wondered what happened to him that day… I originally thought aged 15, that the police were very thorough but maybe after no news all these years later, I was wrong.
March 16th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
There was a bloke drank in the swan public house
in hammersmith that resembled the man in Jeans that
was on martins poster ,he was a horrible man and
a homosexual who was always trying it on with young lads in the pub ,his name was richard he
gave me the creeps I always thought i should have
reported him but i never did ,he was a biggish man always wore a jean jacket and jeans seemed to have a slight hunchback .probably nothing to do with it and such along time ago now,i wished i had said something at the time.
May 7th, 2009 at 6:13 am
You could still report it to the police Colin, you might be onto something.
June 13th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
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August 17th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
I only know about the Martin Allen case from a very old VHS Video cassette.It was a Tape called Dance Craze which featured Various bands in the two tone SKA movement.Written as a foot note it said”To our keenest fan Martin Allen,who disappeared from Kings Cross station 5th November 1979,and others like him.I thought this was a lovely accolade.
November 5th, 2009 at 11:41 am
I have meet Martin Allen’s lovely parent whole we were on holiday last year. His mum showed me a picture of Martin on her lockets. She said he missing for 29 years my heart go out to them both. Even after a year I still think of them and their son Martin Allen missing for 30 years today. Very sad I will never forget Martin’s parent, lovely to meet them. love Margaret xxx
January 7th, 2010 at 8:10 pm
I havent reported it yet ,but I will ,just seen the recent article in the mail online (martins parents) ,why i didnt put this blokes name forward at the time is beyond me ,probably totally wrong ,but there is a new phone number I will ring it to-morrow .. the description of white/blonde hair is what was wrong this guy had light ginger hair .the strangest thing about it all is, that a couple of years later a young lad arrived with this bloke in the pub looked a bit like martin but had died/very black hair ,im probably totally wrong ,but no harm making a phone call ..Even if it is 30 years too late ..